why i am not cooking ever again... or at least for the next two weeks

i am in love with a nepalese sandwich artist. his zest for bread, meat and vegetables, the joy he gets when i say "sure, i'd like it toasted", the smile he has when i agree to pop and chips for only two dollars more-- it's irresistible. i've diverted my entire weekly food budget to one subway meal a day. this is convenient because the stove in my apartment has started to lurk. its been lurking ever since the forces that control the universe sent me a strong "please don't ever cook again because you are very bad at it" message. i was making grits. i took off the cover to make sure they weren't burning or turning green or doing anything else grits shouldn't do. they exploded in my face. the grits exploded. grits should not explode. they are a bland, passive food... bland foods don't explode. it's a rule. i hate grits. i love the new subway "chicken bacon ranch" sandwich. sadly, as fate would have it, this will be a brief affair. my sandwich artist is returning to nepal in two weeks and the subway on sepulveda and victory just won't be the same. no one adds cheese like he does. ::sigh:: maybe the stove will stop lurking by then.