Narrator: It has come to my attention that steps have been taken to demistify Simon and Ivan's blog. It seems Simon and Ivan's friends and . . . well alright, their readership is so small it doesn't even include family. At any rate this highly exclusive readership has expressed confusion over the purpose of this blog, meaning that I, Narrator, have not been cranky enough to scare off pesky questions like "Who are Simon and Ivan?", "What is this blog for?" and the one blogspot.com does not like: "Why don't you have a LiveJournal?" Therefore, let me fulfill one of my many metafictional purposes by saying this: There will be no explanation. In this way the blog exemplifies life--so unfathamably profound that it is its own raison d'etre. Translated from the French, this means, "Just read the damn thing and comment so Simon and Ivan feel their musings have reached someone's interested ears; for heaven's sake what else is a blog for?"
I shall now assiduously hide the infamous Demystifying Post*, severing once and for all the link between Simon and Ivan and any stable semblance of reality. The only revelations we will allow to stand concern a longstanding friendship based more or less on a synchronized feeling of eleven o'clockishness, and a mutual fondness for hedgehogs.
*Said post will be made available in pamphlet form and can be obtained upon the production of appropriate candy goods, certain of which will only be accepted frozen, and with curled ribbons tied around the package.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
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After counting over 125 (or was it more?) Hedgehogs that one day with the waffles (or was it the pot pie?), I think I've had my fill of prickly animals for a few months.
And obtaining the pamphlet (which I now just want for the sake of seeing what could be whipped up when one is finally needed) requires the PRODUCTION of candy? As in, I need to make it from scratch? Gosh you bloggers are demanding. We don't have these sorts of threats over at LiveJournal. Must be higher quality here: you even want your ribbons curled! Jeez! Do I have to mail chocolate to both Simon AND Ivan? and what's the turnaround rate from receival of candy to mailing of pamphlet? and will I get a pamphlet from each? or half a pamphlet from each? or no pamphlet and this is all just a well-rehearsel goose-chase?
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