Sunday, January 07, 2007

being handy

My father came to visit after Christmas and I took the opportunity to do several things:
1. Hear stories about my father from his sisters (He kept making Barbie have sex in my dream house. I was so mad I ripped his fingernail off.)
2. Wash my car (because apparently seven months is too long to go without washing your car).
3. Go shopping for furniture.

The furniture shopping had to happen for two reasons: because I am not strong enough to carry furniture to my car by myself and because I am too poor to actually afford furniture. The latter was why we ended up at IKEA. And I now have a bed, a table and two chairs. Awesome.

(IKEA dad, (anonymity protected by pigeon))

Now, I told a friend my father came to visit and he left me with a load of unfinished IKEA furniture and a rather suspicious electric sander he said "wow. your dad must really hate you." Not so! This is quality unfinished furniture! And Dad bought me all the tools I'll need to make it quality finished furniture. It was halfway through the Lowes shopping trip that I realized what guys spend the majority of their money on: crap from Lowes. Had I been there alone, I would have purchased some stain, some sand paper, and some of the clear stuff to put on it when it's done. And I would have had to ask what the clear stuff was. But with my father in tow I came home with the electric sander, two kinds of sand paper, stain, clear stuff, normal brushes, foam brushes, staining pads, a tack cloth (tack cloth?), a drop cloth and cleaning stuff (what, we're not just throwing it away when we're done?). So, for the next week I am going to chronicle "The Staining of The Furniture", in an attempt to motivate myself to actually walk to the balcony, open the door, sit down and stain the furniture. If this doesn't bring the readers in, I don't know what will.


Simon said...

I'm totally in awe of you. You own power tools. Wow. And a tack cloth (tack cloth?). Wow. (Right?)

Katie P. said...

I am sitting here, in eager anticipation of your photo-epic on IKEA furniture makeovers. I keep hitting refresh and being disappointed by the lack of updates. So I flip to facebook, which is the evil of all evils, drawing me away from studying and back two years to the time and place where I met simon. But I always return to the blog. I await instructions on how to make my IKEA furniture look fresh and fabulous.
Your true dedicated fan,
simon p.

Simon said...

Uh, you never told me what a tack cloth is. You signed off instead. I call that evasion. Why all the mystery, Ivan? Is it a secret? Have you been inducted into the Secret Society of Tack Cloths? Hey, and where are those pictures of the Sparkletini? Been too busy down in the bunker with the Tack Cloth Cult planning for the end of the world and the coming of the Great Tack Cloth of Yore?

Just.Megan said...

I don't mean to alarm you, Simon, but I've heard that the Secret Society of Tack Cloths is associated with the Freemasons.

Katie P. said...

And they are associated with the quest for the Holy Grail. Also, if you can read the documents, preserved so carefully by the Secret Society of Tack Cloths, it is said that you will be able to make billions of dollar in the computer industry.