Two conversations you never want to have with people who live anywhere near you.

Conversation One:

Hi. Um. Are those your propane cylinders downstairs?

What?

Propane. Downstairs.

Oh, yeah, they're my buddy's. He was supposed to pick them up.

Okay, well, you may not want to store them in the laundry room, near, you know, heat sources?

Oh. Okay. I'll move them.

Conversation Two:

Hey, listen, I think we kind of miscommunicated about those propane things. When I said "heat sources" I really meant the hot water heaters, not the dryer.

Huh?

The hot water heaters are powered by gas, so you probably don't want to move the propane closer to them. There's an open flame right there.

Oh. Yeah. That's probably not a good idea.

No. There could definitely be an explosion.

Okay. I'll put them in my car.

Bonus conversation with my Dad:

Dad: Do you have renter's insurance?

Me: No, but it's becoming a greater priority EVERY DAY.