Monday, October 15, 2007

Theory of Wedding Updo Relativity

It took two hours to put these in my hair, but I was drinking champagne at the time, so it seemed more like twenty minutes. However, while it only took twenty minutes to take them all out again, it seemed a lot more like two hours because at the time I was stumbling with exhaustion and suffering from formal-dress oxygen deprivation, which is a proven medical condition. This is the wedding updo theory of relativity: the amount of time it appears to take to have your hair done when you have not yet eaten too much, walked around in heels too much, or gotten too nervous about delivering your toast in front of a roomful of people without throwing up on the bride, is inversely related to the amount of time it SEEMS to take to remove all the bobby pins at the end of the night when you are suffering physically in a lot of ways Spanish inquisitors never even thought of. Then add thirty minutes, which is how long it takes to wash an entire bottle of hairspray out of your hair. Then forget about your hair completely and just go to sleep for Pete's sake.


Ivan said...

it's common knowledge that your hair is the most impossible hair in the history of EVER, so I don't know if your theory will apply to everyone...

and you look really pretty in Matt's wedding photos :)

Simon said...

Yeah, I was just slightly concerned when my stylist called her teacher over and said, "She has A LOT OF HAIR. What do I do with it all?" I told her she could cut it off if she wanted. But she did not.

and thanks! I didn't eat for two weeks so I could fit back into that dress that I orginally tried on when I was apparently five pounds skinnier. Damn.