Wednesday, March 25, 2009

"So... you're going to suffer... and you're going to be happy about it?"

When normal people are under a certain amount of stress, they get irritable, or start drinking heavily, or take up smoking, or if they can afford it, develop a cocaine habit. What I do is step up the quality of the tea I drink. I am now on the hard stuff. Goodbye Salada, hello loose-leaf Yorkshire Gold.

The problem with loose-leaf tea is that it's too finely-ground, and much of it goes right through my tea strainers. Generally all the little bits and pieces sink to the bottom, and I am left with this:

It's not gross, it's my future! I have studied this carefully for at least two and a half minutes, and matching it up with some creepy tasseology website, I've concluded that my tea leaves are malfunctioning. I see nothing here but blobs. No owls, elephants, ships, tractors, ladders, fish, butterflies, or in fact anything more distinct than a pile of dirt. Maybe I'll make my fortune in construction work. When I get home, I'll try out my Edward Gorey Fantod Pack and see if it sheds any light on this. The Fantod Pack is way more specific, if about fourteen times as puzzling.


Ivan said...

well, I think the results have been skewed by the use of a non-traditional tea cup BUT if I were to venture a guess, and take the first page I found on google as an actual answer, I would say this all boils down to "you will gain success, honor, and wealth in the profession of a naval officer"

Simon said...

this is possibly my most favorite comment ever.

Maeve said...

i see the bust of a seahorse in the negative space. perhaps there is a stay-at-home dad in your future.

Simon said...

ha! well, he better be stay-at-home because i will apparently be at sea.