Tuesday, March 17, 2009

St. Patrick's Day Part Two: The Irishman's Lunch

Guinness with . . . Guinness bread.

"What?" you say. "I thought Guinness was basically bread." Not so, my friend. There is also such a thing as Guinness bread. And I can only assume that the Irish frequently consume meals made entirely of Guinness and Guinness products, as this is what I have been lead to believe. NPR this morning said that even in times of economic hardship, the Irish will sell their cars and give up foreign vacations before cutting down on time spent at the pub. So there you have it. This is an authentic Irish meal.

Main ingredients:

Also milk, also butter. But those don't have pretty packaging.

Molasses is creepy. You all remember the episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, when Tasha gets eaten by the black goo monster? (Ivan says it is also called tar.) Well, molasses reminds me of that stuff.

It barely reflects light. Do not trust things that do not reflect light.

Buying Guinness on St. Patrick's Day is for some reason vaguely embarrassing. Buy your Guinness several weeks beforehand. Or ask me for some. I have five bottles left and will probably still have five left by next March.

This bread weighs about five pounds. Good for eating, also good for deterring intruders. I have not yet tasted it because it's too hot, but I'll report back. Ivan is very impatient to know what I am cooking and is probably mildly concerned now that I've asked her about Tasha's death-by-tar while cooking.

Educational link:
Courtesy of Ivan: Armus, the molasses monster.

Bonus Feature:
A terrible St. Patrick's day joke: What is green and sits out on the lawn?





Paddy O'Furniture

You're welcome.

1 comment:

Ivan said...

You are so full of wisdom, Simon. And I'm glad you made it through this cooking experience without getting sucked into a pool of unforgiving black goo... Happy St. Patty's-- wish I was there to eat some of that brick!