Tuesday, September 22, 2009


Sometime around September I usually start looking for presents for Simon's birthday. Her birthday falls at the end of October and starting early ensures I will have a gift by March. We have a long tradition of late gifts between hedgehogs and I think Simon has come to appreciate the idea that you could be getting a gift from Ivan at ANY time of the year. In fact I still owe her a present for Birthday '06 and, Simon, it's probably time stop holding your breath, but I haven't forgotten and soon I will get around to it.

This weekend I hiked "Breakneck Ridge" which on two hours of sleep was appropriately challenging and afterward I stopped by an antiques shop in Cold Spring before I caught the train back to New York (sidenote: even if you have been hiking through the woods all day and look appropriately dirty and disheveled, you will get mean looks if you wear sea foam colored Crocs in Manhattan). So I was wandering this shop and sifting through the loads of treasures, of shoes and bottles and dishes and furniture and I came across two cow creamers. Now Simon has a lovely camel teapot and an adorable dog creamer and after seeing "Wonderfalls" I joked that she needed a cow creamer to round out the collection. And finding these cow creamers I was over the moon! A present for Simon-- so early in the season! And I bought them and hauled them back to the city where I took them out and put them on my bookcase so they could get some air.

And then I took a long nap and when I woke up, drowsy and eyes full of sleep I realized how utterly (ha, udderly!) terrifying these cow creamers are. Their eyes are crazy. Their legs are stumpy. What's with the cross on that one's chest? These are Mad Cow Creamers and they are 100% not being sent to Simon for her birthday. I'm currently contemplating how to deep six them in our apartment clutter because I can't even keep them in my room.

So that is the story of how I almost had an on time birthday present for Simon. If anyone knows what I should get for her, I welcome the suggestions... I hear she's into bacon.

1 comment:

Simon said...

Mad cow creamers! That is so great. Well, it's terrible, but in a great way. They do look slightly frightening, I'm not sure how I feel about creamers that have eyes painted on them, I mean what if it tells me to break the tail light or something? You can't ignore it when it's got eyes that FOLLOW YOU. I don't know, I sorta like the Holstein though, even if it does have a cross on its chest. Or maybe I could use it for holy water. All I really ask is that you not get me sea foam colored Crocs. Anyway, you're doing way better than I am. I don't have any reject presents for your birthday, I just have reject ideas, and I'm already a month late. If I see a wax lion anywhere, it's yours.