Friday, March 19, 2010

In Which Ivan Makes a Foray into Diagnostic Medicine

So the other day I got a bump on the head, and I had been discussing it for a while with Ivan when she kindly undertook to determine whether or not I was going to die of it by saying, "Quick! How many fingers am I holding up!" Only I couldn't see her fingers because I was talking to her online, so it didn't seem like this was going to be in any way conclusive. Then this picture showed up in my inbox, entitled "A Test for the Potentially Concussed":

When I got that one right, she sent this:

Then I started hearing bagpipes and legitimately began to wonder whether I was having some kind of episode.

P.S. Ordinarily I would have called in the anonymity-protecting pigeon, but it would have ruined the pictures. In lieu of the pigeon I implore potential stalkers to stay away from Ivan: she carries a ray gun and she is not afraid to undermine you.


I. M. Astalker said...

Ivan's a girl?!?!? You're blowing my mind! Next you'll be insisting that Pluto is not a planet, but a "dwarf planet" with a density at between 1.8 and 2.1 g/cm³ and an internal composition consisting of roughly 50–70 percent rock and 30–50 percent ice by mass....which is ridiculous!

Ivan said...

A girl with two heads no less (I can't tell you how much time I spent photoshopping that first picture)! Gosh, it feels good to be honest with the internet.

Simon said...

Sounds to me like I. M. Astalker has mostly been stalking Pluto.

Pandora said...

Ivan, I think you have a future as a two-headed ray gun-toting superwoman neurologist. I'm going to get started on your cape and THRGTSN logo right now.

Ivan said...

I would wear that cape with pride.