Monday, April 26, 2010

Simon and Ivan Launches Internationally

I have verified the safe arrival of Ivan in Rome. So far, information indicates a case of jet lag, a dissatisfaction with Egyptian airline food, and the existence of an apartment the landlords of which Ivan may or may not have somehow offended? The motivation behind their perceived dislike for Ivan was unclear. I repeat, jet lag was involved. Also unclear is the exact nature of Ivan's work in Rome. It has something to do with mummies. Raising them from the dead, battling them, teaching them how to plant gardenias -- these are all possibilities I have considered and have no reason to outright reject. All I know is that Ivan will be VERY FAR AWAY for six months and that I may be forced to sell personal possessions in order to fund a visit. Does anyone want a copy of 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (with a foreword by Max Harris!)? Proceeds will cover a visit to the gelato shop.


Anonymous said...

Congratulations on branching out to the "continent". I do hope that Ivan recovers from jet lag, presses the reset button on the landlord relationship and can soon provide the missing details about the mummy work. I strongly suspect that the truth will not be nearly as interesting as the possibilities your proposed.

With mummies, however, one never knows quite what to expect. Verification of that could be had from George Edward Stanhope Molyneux Herbert, 5th Earl of Carnarvon - were he still alive today. Since he is not, I guess we will just have to wait and see.

Ivan said...

I am honored that you would pawn your copy of 1811 dictionary of vulgar tongue to visit! even if the main motivation is gelato and not my company.

I don't think I offended the landlord (main resident of apartment), rather, I found it difficult to get a read on the situation since I hadn't slept in two days... maybe they liked me... maybe not... let us hope as living in a hostel is going to kill me.

Simon said...

As a matter of fact, gelato was the only thing that I could think of that was Italian and available for less than ten dollars. As we all know, I'm not wild for ice cream, so probably I would just give it to you anyway as payback for your DELIGHTFUL COMPANY.

As for George Edward Archibald Heatherington Nastyface, I certainly hope his fate is not universal to all involved with mummies.