Sunday, May 09, 2010


One of these things is not like the others . . . anymore.

Last night I was innocently watching McLeod's Daughters and saying things to myself like "I must have a dairy cow," and "Wait, that's disgusting, I must never have a dairy cow," and "I want to live on a farm," and "Wait, that's disgusting, I don't ever want to live on a farm," when I was suddenly startled out of my indecisive internal monologue by an unpleasant BOOM. And then another unpleasant BOOM.

Away to the window I flew like a flash, and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a large vehicle across the street, on the sidewalk, having just taken out a parked car and a column of the Masonic Temple. The large vehicle then veered around in the road, which fortunately had no traffic in it (we shut down at nine o'clock in this town) and went out of sight.

It turned out he only made it about three yards before pulling over on the wrong side of the road. I strongly suspect drunkenness, but let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say he's epileptic. Since the firehouse is next door, the street was soon full of firefighters, and then all kinds of other people came, and there were lots of flashing lights. Then some guys stood around for a while looking at the column. I can only imagine they were repeatedly saying, "Dude!" to each other because what else is there to do in such a situation? Then it started snowing. Weird night.

At some point between then and now, someone thought the best way of dealing with the column was to remove the middle part (which was lying pathetically on the ground like part of a Greek ruin), put the base back in place, and pretend that the Masonic Temple now possesses the mysterious ability to be partly invisible. If only it also had a forcefield like the USS Enterprise, this whole thing could have been avoided.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow! and I though nothing exciting ever happened in your town. Since the incidence of drunkenness probably far exceeds that of epilepsy (if I ever find any statistics that contradict that, I will be sure to ignore them), I suspect drunkenness.

Besides - how many bars are within walking, or staggering distance of that building? Many, if I recall.

With the base back in place, it does look as though the column has become invisible - and slightly shorter, too - there seems to be a distinct sag in the roof line at that point. But some extra energy to the force field (Where is Scotty when you need him?) should fix that right up.

Be sure to keep us "posted" on developments....