Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Mayonnaise: Surely One of the Least Attractive Foods

Yesterday I wanted a tuna sandwich. But my mayonnaise was expired. (It is almost always expired. Along with salad dressing, mustard, vegetable oil, shortening, and a surprising number of canned goods, I always have to check the expiration date of mayonnaise before I eat it.) You can't have a tuna sandwich without mayonnaise, not with the quality of tuna these days, so I decided to make it. I had oil. I had eggs. I had lemon juice. I had a recipe titled "Homemade mayonnaise without tears," which I assume was written specifically for me.

Somewhat incredibly, it turned out just fine. Mayonnaise is tricky (apparently) because if it doesn't emulsify properly, it separates into an unpleasant mixture of egg yolk and oil that nobody even wants to look at much less eat. I followed the instructions, however, and added the oil very slowly. Drop by drop. For half an hour. I am not completely sure it was worth half an hour to make mayonnaise when I could have just had peanut butter and jelly, but I am unemployed. I have time.

It tasted slightly too lemony in the end, but at least it tasted like lemony mayonnaise, rather than lemony egg-oil mixture. I was so proud of myself that I put the remainder in a container and saved it, even though I knew I was not going to use it before it went bad, since it goes bad within a couple of days when it's homemade.

I guess I was feeling proactive today, because I hauled it out of the fridge again to chuck it before it had a chance to get foul. And I discovered that even when it's still good, day-old mayonnaise does not appeal.

Blegh. Good thing I satisfied my tuna sandwich craving yesterday.


Ivan said...


Anonymous said...

It looks a bit too yellow. Guess that might account for the overly overt lemon taste.

Glad you have had the experience - it may come in handy sometime (can't exactly think of what situation would call for quickly creating mayonnaise, but there must be something...like the Queen of England is in town and wants to drop by for a tuna sandwich).

Christi said...

Why... is it yellow? >,< ewwww.

I'm glad your adventures in mayonnaise didn't leave you permanently scarred, however. But I will fully admit that my desire for tuna sandwich would have ended with the fact that the mayo was past its expiration date (general gasp) and I would have either dealt with PB&J or gone out to buy more mayonnaise. Either situation leads to food in mah belly faster than hand making the mayonnaise. Which is of course my only requisite. ^_^

Some Kind Of Funky! said...


Simon said...

If it makes anyone feel better, the yellow color is completely normal. It's from the egg yolk. It gets lighter the more vinegar or lemon juice you add. It's the store-bought kind that's unnatural, really. It just looks a lot better.