Monday, December 20, 2010


Conversations with my mother:

I: Is this cider good?
M: I don't know, drink it?
I: I think it's good...
M: Well, pour some in a glass.
I: It's not chunky?
M: That's good. The pre-spiked eggnog I got was a little chunky.
I: Did you take it back?
M: Well, after the second glass it didn't seem like much of a problem...

I: My neck really hurts...
M: Well, what pillows did you sleep on?
I: The ones on the bed?
M: Oh, those are DECORATIVE pillows. I keep the real ones in the guest room. I'll let you have one tonight.
I: Thanks?

M: Did you eat one of those apples from the fridge?
I: Yes?
M: And it was ok?
I: Yes?
M: I think I bought those in October...
I: Really?
M: Yeah, it's probably safe to say "nothing in the fridge right now is edible".
I: I really wish you had told me that before you went to bed.

Since a hyper awareness of sell by dates is now necessary for my survival, I went to Wegmans with my mother. They had a mechanical fisherman selling oysters. He pivots and raises an arm. They had Baci. They had endives. They had a Christmas cookie decorating station with an actual full-time employee in charge of frosting. What an amazing experience! It's good to be home.


Simon said...

I had no idea your mom lived so dangerously! Unfortunately my house is no better so you're going to have to check sell-by dates wherever you go in this town.

Also, I wish that Wegmans video had featured Jack Donaghy rather than Alec Baldwin. Except that Jack Donaghy probably does not do his own shopping.

Anonymous said...

Life is nothing if not an adventure, and missed sell-by dates can certainly make it adventurous.

Here's hoping that there is not too much adventure in the near future.