Thursday, January 05, 2012

In Which the Arbiter of Inappropriateness Misjudges Slightly But Is Still Almost Always Right

This story comes in three parts.

Part One: Around my birthday, I got a delicious-smelling package from my dear friend The Clergy, and inside it were these absolutely adorable and classy tins. And as a bonus, the tins were full of tea! It was like a double present.

Part Two: Also around my birthday, as I may have mentioned, my dear friend Simon P. came to visit. Simon P. and I exhausted ourselves so much that by her last night here, we spent an entire hour just laughing. At nothing in particular. Like little girls at a slumber party. Who've just had a lot of cider and donuts. (It was Halloween.) During the exhaustion-induced hilarity, we had a worrying exchange in which Simon P. suggested an inappropriate use of food as she is wont to do. I reported the exchange live on Facebook, and I reproduce it here (I like to use primary source material whenever I can):

Click on this image if it's too small to read.

We had just discovered that more things than bacon could be inappropriate, and I was convinced that cider-tea fell into that category -- inappropriate, improper, and everything else with a negative prefix!

Part Three: A few days later, I opened up The Clergy's Hot Cinnamon Sunset and brewed a nice cuppa. And I drank some. And I said to myself HOLY MOTHER THAT IS SPICY. And then a thought came into my head for which I wholeheartedly blame Simon P. Because that thought was, "It's as if this tea needs to be brewed in something more substantial than water . . . UH OH."

Friends, I admit to you that I put that teabag into a mug of hot cider.

It was delicious.

So I am forced to concede that my sense of the inappropriate is not absolutely infallible. But there is no one else I trust to take up the role as Arbiter of Inappropriateness because the rest of you have repeatedly failed to recognize the most vile and egregious instances of inappropriateness even when they're staring you in the face. Take, for example, what I got in my stocking this Christmas:

There is no way I'm letting you people decide for yourselves what's appropriate and what isn't. You obviously have no idea what you're doing.


Katie said...

Hahahahahahaha! My tea idea was awesome. I can't believe you mocked it! I WIN!!!!!!

Simon said...

I shall live in shame to the end of my days. Or until you send me an e-mail titled "Bacon Postcards with Pig Ear Stamp" or something else appalling. Which you know will happen.