Tuesday, February 22, 2005

my pants are sopping wet and i am angry

i will never again wish for rain in southern california. now that we have more rain than SEATTLE and houses are literally falling into the ocean i have decided to give up "wishing" for lent. i've posted cute little stories about lost shoes and wading to work but we're past the point of cute.

the post department is not only forced to work on the second floor- a place where all the windows are tinted gray and there are COCKROACHES hidden in the corners, but we have to park across the street in the evil parking lot of death. the said parking lot is about two inches wide and ten feet long and THEY make us cram about fifty-seven cars in there while THEY valet park in the spacious lot below the building. after leaving your car in the Parking Lot of Death, you still have to play frogger while you cross four steady lanes of traffic. not only do we not have health insurance but THEY can't even give us a crosswalk!

i can assure you everyone working here is bitter for a host of reasons, but the parking lot just brings us that much closer to commiting acts only deranged postal workers should have to commit. i wouldn't be so outraged if my pants weren't soaking wet and hair wasn't turning into its natural scary-white-girl afro. the street in front of our building floods on a regular basis and employees of the second floor usually plan ahead. we bring golashes, use plastic bags and learn to jump amazing distances. it's usually an exercise in creativity. USUALLY. but now it's personal. i know there are spots open in the nice underneath garage. two people just left the company and no one has been hired to take their place. i took a special trip upstairs to ask about garage spots and a very DRY executive had the gall to look at my sopping wet clothes and tell me the lot was full. my ass it's full! "you're probably asking because you have hypothermia" she said with a giggle, her DRY little dog nipping at my ankles. "maybe we can get you a spot when we move". when we move! when we move ! that's a month away and the rain is never going to stop! never ever ever ever ever! this is the apocalypse!

dude, be careful what you wish for.

1 comment:

Simon and Ivan said...

Despite the fact that this is a tragic story, it's really quite a GOOD story, and I was very amused. But I was in no way laughing at your anguish. In no way. I was sympathetically sharing in your hysteria. By laughing a lot. I hope it stops raining...