Monday, April 18, 2005

a gaggle of goats

why must texans talk so slow? i understand by living in texas they've never been exposed to things like literature, history and cars without F-150 logos, but this is no excuse! if i can accelerate your voice to double it's normal speed and still hear you drawling along YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. on the east coast they call it a speech impediment. spit it out! t-t-today, junior! ARGH! i can speak to you freely about the evils of texas because the first episode of our kick-ass reality show premiered last week. what?! you didn't watch it?! how could you miss such an exciting television event?! you are no longer my friend! ...actually i forgot it was on too, but as of episode seven, i think i actually get a credit! do i want my name associated with a show that forced eight of its contestants milk goats? well, we all know how i feel about goats, so of course. you can't have reservations about a show with goats. and if you accelerate the sound of a goat to twice its normal speed it resembles a satanic munchkin on helium. what's not to like about that? it's better than the texans. satanic munchkin on downers. laaaaaattttteeeeerrrrr yyyyaaaaallllllllllll.


The Anonymous Hedgehog said...

Hahahahahahaha you and your goats!

MGDub said...

Can't wait to see your credit! I can see it now...first you're editing a reality show with, Alan Cumming's latest freakily depressing feature. Climb that Hollywood ladder!