Thursday, September 15, 2005

Chronicles of Simon

Item, new favorite abbreviation "Messrs." Replaces former favorite abbreviation "v." Unfortunately much more difficult to work into everyday conversation.

Item, have now attended two town meetings as reporter for local paper; am half hooked, half bored to death. Status of desire to dress like Jimmy Stewart while in reporter mode: unconquered.

Item, have acquired temporary emmployment as Marketing Assistant at smallish publishing company. Begin work next month; desire to blog about job already problematic. Determined not to give in (cf. Dooce).

Item, new favorite abbreviation "cf."

Item, process of applying to graduate school proving identical to process of having soul sucked out through nose with Shop-Vac. Or heart broken.

Item, finished longest book in history of universe aside from Bede's Ecclesiastical History of the English People (clocking in at 1,500 hours plus two years off the end of reader's life): The Once and Future King. V. good despite extended passages on merits of goose lifestyle. Recommended.

Item, began Annie Proulx's That Old Ace in the Hole. Identify wholeheartedly with main character Bob Dollar's directionlessness, though miss presence of evil fat boy in life.

Item, watched Series 1-3 of Monarch of the Glen, i.e. 28 hours of television in period of time too short to publish. Result: inner monologue habitually slipping into Scots; hard-pressed to supress overuse of "och" and "wee" in regular speech.

Item, new favorite abbreviation "i.e."

Item, have depleted bin of Items; awaiting refill.

4 comments:

Ivan said...

fabulous post. laughing loudly. reality editors giving me dirty looks. should change page quote from hatchet to "reading our blog is better than having your soul sucked out through your nose with a shop-vac." am concerned with new "google blog search", though only words that turn us up are "simon and ivan". will be more careful about work related posts anyway... you must post on the new job! no one will know. you are an excellent secret keeper. also, we have comment spam...

Katie P. said...

Yeah, the google blog search was bound to be born sometime :( It is now officially the one thing I dislike about google. Not that I wouldn't accept a job offer from them... Actually the blog search is why I changed my blog to friends only because one friend listed my full name once. But, I think that if someone knows you well enough to know that you are half of simon and ivan on blogger, they can probably be trusted with your blog. Or so I hope.
I think this is my first comment here, but I quite enjoy reading this blog. Thanks for entrusting me with the link.

.Maeve said...

my blog isn't found in the google blog search, and i can tell you how if you like. it had been private for two years, but i made it public the other day, so we'll see how that goes.
business being out of the way [an ablative absolute!] ... ditto the laughing out loud, but my neighbours are probably used to my alternate noises of typing and boisterous laughter by now (mostly due to simon).

Matthew said...

Laughed out loud, as well. :P
Don't suppress your inner Scot! We like Scots around these here parts