Friday, September 30, 2005

For Ivan!





I realize now that my last post did not really make sense. It was late and I was carrying on several conversations, live and electronic, all at once. What happened was that I went to my sister's house to watch Alias, which led to watching CSI, which led to watching Without a Trace, which is a pretty dumb show but oddly mesmerizing. At about 11:00 I headed home. Pleasant drive. Very dark. A few deer. Christine's latest mix. Yes, very nice. All very nice.

Then I pulled onto my road and there was this van pulled over on the lawn by my house. Odd, I thought. Then I revised that to Creepy. It reminded me of the time I was walking home one night in the dark and there was a truck pulled over on the road and its lights were on and I had to go right by it and it was shortly after I had seen Joy Ride and all I could think of was that insane truck driver saying "CANDY-CAAAYNE?" and it started to feel like the first five minutes of an X-Files episode--you know anyone who appears in those first five minutes is doomed to die some strange and horrible death--and yeah, this reminded me of that.

And then I realized it was Matt and Adam, who are sketchy but not dangerously so. They had apparently stationed themselves outside of my house some time earlier in a sort of friendly stakeout, waiting for me to get back. Along with all of their other blogiversary items they brought the card from above, which Ivan might like to see. So there it is. Happy anniversary, Ivan! I'm not having Magic Hat and cupcakes without you, so you better be back for Christmas. Then we can start planning out how to make money with the blog. I mean, you're in LA after all. We can turn this to our advantage. Next time you see a famous person I want you to go up to them and say in a booming announcer voice:

"From the creative team that brought you the political thriller Eddie Happlin and the title of Body in the Closet, Captive in the Car comes a new, feel-good comedy with all the suspense and great titles of the past but none of the violence and bloodshed. See what's in store for Ivan as she dodges flying ash on deserted Los Angeles freeways! And find out how long it will take Simon to scratch her new car! This and more on Les Fabuleux Destins de Deux Herrisons, the bicoastal blog with the French title, hedgehog fixation, and truly dizzying intellect. Rated G for Great."

They might think you're insane, but that won't necessarily mean we can't option our blog as a movie. In fact it would probably help.

6 comments:

Ivan said...

very cute! Thank you Madam Att!

Katie P. said...

I would definitely pay multiple times to see that movie. But who would play you? That is an important thing to consider. Plus you have to plan roles for Sean Biggerstaff, (at least) one of the Finnes brothers, Colin Firth, and Hugh Grant.

simon said...

Um. Why can't I have both Fiennes brothers? I hate to tell the studio, but that one's going to be a dealbreaker.

Katie P. said...

OK...you can have both. No one will complain about that, I'm sure. It would up the value of the movie. (And be ever so sexy!)

.Maeve said...

they can all play the vikings.

Simon said...

because, like Romans, all evidence suggests that Vikings were hot.