Friday, October 28, 2005

X=Eat the doughnut.

If someone at work brings in donuts for your birthday, and the apple you brought for lunch is suspiciously squooshy, do the combined factors of (1) it being almost the 30th and (2) your healthy food having literally rotted make it okay to substitute two donuts for the one apple? There is so much air in doughnuts, and apples are so dense. In fact, if I were to establish an equation describing the relationship between apples and donuts, it would probably say A+3/2G=3D(2H)(1/2R), with A being Apples, D being doughnuts, G being guilt, H being death by heart attack before the age of thirty, and R being the part where I vow to run every morning for the rest of my life. And the numbers being randomly assigned so as to create the illusion of complexity. Unfortunately the equation is rendered undefined on account of the fact that I can't figure out which spelling of donut/doughnut is correct.

4 comments:

Ivan said...

it would be rude not to eat the donuts. just like it would be rude not to eat many peanut butter cups and drink mulled wine several weeks from now. if you do not eat the donuts you are setting a dangerous precident. tread lightly, my friend.

Matthew said...

LOL!!! Math is suddenly more fun ... I like creative equations

Katie P. said...

And you mustn't forget that the density of the apples is primarily due to water, which is kindof like the air in the donuts/doughnuts.
I think in Homer Price they are called doughnuts and Robert McClosky is a god, so therefore, I think doughnuts is correct. Donuts, while shorter, seems like more of a Krispy Kreme, Dunkin' Donuts response to not having enough space on a sign to write doughnuts. But that's just my take.
And I like you equation. So it has now been approved by a math major...

simon said...

aha! validation from the math world! ...i too prefer doughnuts to donuts, which is like Newspeak or something, but for some reason my fingers do not distinguish while i am typing.