Tuesday, April 03, 2007

all it took was the proper motivation

A mere two months and twenty-six days after my first "I'm going to finish all my furniture and blog about it" post I can proudly tell you "I finished all my furniture!". I lost a little momentum after I dyed my fingers "hobo brown" and the whole thing didn't seem quite as romantic when the electric sander turned on me and took a chunk out of the table. The negative thoughts came pouring in after the second coat of polyurethane got a little tacky. And at my lowest point all I could think was "I will never be a master wood worker, why am I bothering?" I finished the table a week after posting and decided the rest of the furniture would function better as a fire hazard than additional seating. And then the call came. THE call. The one from my mother. "I'm coming to LA!" she says. and internally I went "oh shit, she's going to think I'm living in hole and I can't take care of myself and she's not going to love me anymore because mothers only love daughters with quality furniture and a decent sense of decoration!" She tends to bring out my rational side.

I hung up, unpackaged the bed and said "you're from IKEA, do you really need TWO coats of stain? Is that really necessary? Think about it." and the bed thought and thought and finally said "no". Then I said "SANDING BETWEEN COATS? Seriously?" And the bed said "You're right, your time is better spent wadding up tinfoil for the cat, or perhaps watching television." So with the bed's permission, I cut some corners and finished in about a day and a half. I was on a roll, time to tackle the chairs. I slapped on the coat of stain and returned fifteen minutes later to find the chair was still its original color. Same style, color, brand as the table, but it didn't want to turn brown. To this I said "Fuck It" and drove to the hardware store where I purchased the prettiest purple paint I could find. The chairs must have talked it over and decided they liked this color better because it took beautifully.

Then came the assembly. I highly recommend putting together IKEA furniture with TWO people, but if you're a hermit like me you can use a stack of books, four screwdrivers, a butter knife, packaging tape, a dime and a bottle or two of wine to achieve the same result.

So that's the story of my IKEA furniture. My mother arrived and said "Oh, how cute!" promptly followed by "You're going to need a rug..."

I refuse to purchase one at this time, but if I happen to find a "Do It Yourself Rug Kit" I'll be sure to post about it in a timely fashion.


Simon said...

I adore your purple chairs. Also your table. Also your coffee mugs. Also your cat. Can I move in?

I think I might have a rug hook kit in my old room, probably from the same place as the basket-weaving kit. On the other hand I remember it being very ugly so I might have thrown it out. If I find it, though, I will send it to you. Now that you're so handy I'm sure you would like nothing better than a yucky orange hook rug to work on. Either way, your mother spoke of you approvingly so she probably still loves you even though you don't have a rug.

Matthew said...

Wait wait! You have a choice! I TOO have a hook-rug kit in my room at home! Mine makes a white rug with DINOSAURS on it. Very realistic yarn colored dinosaurs, no less.
You now have a choice, and you know that a rug with DINOSAURS is way way cooler than just a plain old orange one. Yeah, I thought so.

Also, I third the opinion that the purple chairs look GREAT. Gil looks like he would've helped, you should've asked him. :P

Ivan said...

Matt, you've totally sold me on the DINOSAURS. If either of you send me a rug kit, I will totally make it and proudly display it on my floor. Mainly to see what my mother will say.

Christi said...

apparently i missed the memo when everyone that was born in the 82-84 range got a do-it-yourself hook-rug kit. In fact, I'm not entirely sure what a hook-rug actually is... or what it looks like. I'm envisioning something horrid like a large shag rug shaped as a bear's hide in electric orange.

And your kitty is adorable. I think I want him.

Katie said...

I think I have a rug hook kit that is flowers. It is about 80% done. That's what happens when you buy it on a long road trip. That and the fact that there are 3 inch pieces of yarn covering the back seat.
I thought I would introduce more choice into the mix in case you worried that the purple chairs wouldn't go with the dinosaurs.