Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Things My Parents Have That I Do Not

Dog.
She wanders the house at night going clicky-clicky-clicky with her nails on the hardwood, and makes me think of Samuel Beckett's mother. I do not sleep.

James Bond's iron.
I have not yet discovered the button that shoots bullets, but I know it's there. I iron carefully.

Doctor Who with good reception.
I have a new theory about the Doctor's hair. It goes like this: they sculpt it upwards for hero shots, and downwards for underdog shots.
The Doctor's level of concern changes little in either case. Sometimes I want Daleks to show up just so he'll make his Death-eater face.

Cable.
[Picture not available. There was nothing on.]
Every ten months or so I spend a few days here to verify that there still isn't anything good on. Conclusion this time: Same. Thought: TBS would go under if Sandra Bullock stopped making movies. Thought: I wish Sandra Bullock had a Death-eater face. Thought: 72 hours of cable exposure; brain already rotting.

6 comments:

Ivan said...

Abbey is so fluffy! I want to hug her... or ride her around the dining room. haven't decided yet.

Maeve said...

oh my god that explains everything about the doctor's hair. also mulder's: it was all floppy for the first five seasons when he was super-depressed, but got kind of spikey in season six when he started to get over it.

Simon said...

Awesome, a new reason to rewatch a million episodes of the X-Files!

megan said...

Deja vu, Simon... why?

Also, I want to snuggle up next to Abbey. She's very snuggle-able.

Anonymous said...

So... I don't understand the reference to Samuel Beckett's mother - Did she have long toenails that went clicky-clicky on the floor, or did she wander the house at night, or, perhaps, both?

Simon said...

Yes, Beckett's mother wandered the house at night. (You may refer to my previous post on Beckett, although it does not give much more detail on her than I have provided here. For example, I am not sure about her toenails.)

P.S. Wouldn't you like to tell us who you are?