workin' it

my typical working day consists of drinking coffee, checking my email every four seconds for job offers, avoiding car insurance websites, and saying over and over "no i do not know where that tape is. no i don't know where that one is either. yes, feel free to look for yourself. yes, you're right, someone who worked here before me must have taken it as a souvenier. oh, you don't think it spontaneously combusted? you don't think it was very cute when i said that? oh so sorry. i didn't realize tape stock was such a sensative issue." honestly, there must be some disgruntled employee sitting around watching tv in their underwear with a full set of BetaSP master tapes serving as cheap substitutes for plates and coasters. not that i blame this person. i am close to doing the same. it would be oh so satisfying to say, "yes, i know exactly where that tape is. it's propping up the loose leg of my patio table. jerk."